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Phat Fat Physician
That Morning Cup of ...
The Resurgence No-Showidism
Do you wanna Marijuanna?
What do you think causes wait time at the doctor office?

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What do you think causes wait time at the doctor office?
Do you wanna Marijuanna?
The Resurgence No-Showidism
That Morning Cup of ...
Phat Fat Physician

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Nutrition
Obesity
Office Wait times
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Conversations with Dr. Ann

Phat Fat Physician

That title may have bitten off more than it can chew but admit it... you judge your doctor. 
"She was nice", "I like her hair", "I bet she raids the fridge at night."

And hey, why not! She is telling you what to do to lower your cholesterol. And from the looks of it ...

But let me tell you this dirty little secret.
Many of us docs are like parents. You know , "Do as I say, not as I do"
And not for any God-complex reasons, rather, the ugly of the matter is that donuts taste just as good to us as it does to you. And that knowledge comes with but so much willpower.

Yes, long days dealing with often whiny, miracle seekers leaves one wanting, wait... craving an indulgent, no good, stop watching me, tub of chunky monkey.

So your physician grapples with her own humanity and knows that being judged is par for the course but like any noble professional, she has figured out the plus to that size which turns out to be a benefit for you. 

It's called the "Been there, Still Struggling with That" empathy.
And there's a high chance that empathy influenced the care that you received.

And that is Phat ! 





That Morning Cup of ...

Ah.... the smell that wakes you and lifts you ever so weightlessly out of bed to the ... blender?

Why yes of course. What did you think I meant?

It's the well known, little used, cure of the morning malaise.
A fresh blend of crisp, nutritious, greens, roots and flavored cream!

Have you ever wondered why it's acceptable to pour oil, sugar and flavorings into a donut but spinach is boiled in water and served up dead? Me too!  I've gladly poured ounces of Caramel Macchiatto cream into my cup of poison, I mean coffee, yet have felt the need to close my eyes ( and nose) and muster through my cup of green pureed goodness. Well ... no mas!

Here's a new recipe to kick start that morning blend.

1. Wake up on your own. No wafting in the scent of some pre-programmed poison pot.
(Then again, for those of us who cannot operate a blender without a pre-sipped pot in place, go right ahead.)

2. In a good blender (mine is Oster set on speed 18), add:
    * A hand full of greens (spinach, kale, collards...go wild)
    * A carrot ( or 4 baby carrots for the still too lazy to peel folks like me)
    * A thumb-size of beets (because red puree looks better than green...)
                 ... oh and yes...it's super nutritious, and sweet.
    * Add a surprise vegie or fruit... or not. I've added celery and sometimes blueberries, etc.

3. Break out the good stuff ... sugar!
Sugar has gotten a bad wrap! And for that reason, healthy foods go uneaten. Sure, if you will eat your vegies in bulk without...sugar...yum... it's way better. But let's face it, we love sugar so much, we've replaced it with fake sugar and  still didn't eat our vegetables (cause who wants fake sugar on spinach! ) So, add the sugar! real sugar! And suddenly, greens stop spoiling in the fridge! (You know you bought it with awesome intentions and wondered what happened when 3 weeks later you're tossing its brown remains in the trash).

So, get fancy with the sugar, healthy with the sugar, flavored with the sugar, juicy with the sugar. Personally, I like juicy and flavored. So to the above blend, I add ...

    * A shot of grape juice
    * A squirt of caramel syrup and/or a squirt of caramel flavored cream ... mmm
   
4. As for the liquid to assist in blending, your options are wide open! I use flavored soymilk , but only because that's what's in my fridge (I'm surrounded by vegetarians...we will talk about that soon). Other choices include...

    * Milk (pick your choice)
    * Juice (pick your choice)
    * Water (why would you want to do that! )

5. Let the blending begin!
    Initially, you will want to make sure that you didn't add too much liquid. Or too little.
Once that is going, and the blender has reached its maximal speed, reach into your cabinet and take out your multivitamin! Take one!

Yes, most multivitamins are dead on arrival. And probably so before they even left the factory, that's not the point. The point is that you are tired and reaching for straws and not eating well and something has to give.  So start by taking your vitamins and end with eating them in nutritious foods.

6. Now for the moment of truth... the blending is over, its content is not green. It looks reddish brown maybe. You're ready to taste it ... STOP. Get a straw. It helps. SECOND. Don't do the taste test. Really? You know it's not a fruit smoothie. Drink with gusto and get it over with. Then walk proud all day knowing that your full serving of fruit and vegetables for the day is done. The rest of the day's vegies, as they say, ... is just gravy.

     


The Resurgence No-Showidism

Recently, we discussed the prophylatic vaccination for Overbookatitis, a virus that is closely tied to the disease called The Wait.
 
This innoculation has been so successfull in decreasing this dreadful desease that we have happily and zealously treated all staff members.
 
Further scientific studies, however, have revealed a fatal side-effect called No-Showidism. Where Overbookatitis had waiting rooms bursting at the seams, this newly discovered side-effect causes lethargy, forgetfullness and "can't-lift-aphone-iopathy" called No-showidism. Perfectly good, single appointments lay waste in the unltimate sacrifice to prevent The Wait.
 
Population studies have felt the pulse of the patients who have chanted - "We like the vaccination! We like the vaccination! No-Showisdm is but a small price to pay to prevent The Wait! Keep the vaccine!"
 
Well, we have a solution!
Why should The Wait affect you! Don't be a victim to overbookatitis. The vaccine will stay!
 
And No-Showidism now has a patch  called "Bill-me $25." So far, it has dramatically decreased the  "cant-lift-a phone-iopathy" and single appointments, created by the vaccine, are now made available to others.
 
We love being your doctor! Let us know what you think.

Do you wanna Marijuanna?

 
Juanna is is a popular girl? You sure you wanna mari-her?
Breath-taking as she is, she will leave you high and dry.
It's True, she's no gold digger but molah goes up in smokes around her.
She tells pretty little lies like "you're hungry" and "you smell nice."
 
Right now, I bet she's with a politician!
Soon there will be some dirt-a-dish'n.
And to your doctor, you will come a runin'
Outta breath and barely breathn'
Cause you though that I was foolin'
WhenI said "Don't Marijuana"
 
She promised you a nice death bed
As a perk to get you wed
Cause you're in pain and enough said
But she cheats with thoroughbred
Healthy, wealthy lives instead
Making waste of minds in head
Not just those who hurt instead.
 
That wed license shouldn't be legal
She'll fly away just like a sea gul
Empty lives that should have been full
Now must see a doc to get a breathfull.
 
What you think of Marijuanna?
Should we keep her or maker her a goner!
 
 
 

What do you think causes wait time at the doctor office?

It is a chronic illness called The Wait. It's seen often in patients at the doctor's office or  at the DMV. Patients suffer badly. Some even become violently ill! Yet, despite attempts, the cure has been illusive to doctors nationwide.
 
This epidemic, however, has met its match at NAD Medical. We've dug deep into the reasons as to why this illness still exits and seek daily to erradicate it! So far, we have discovered that it replicates when exposed to the following comorbid diseases:
1) Docislateosis   2) Overbookedatitis  and 3)Patientchattytitis 
 
We have since innoculated our doctors with the vaccine against the Docislateosis. This has significantly reduced exposure to The Wait. Additionally, our Staff has been properly prophylaxed against the Overbookedatitis.
 
Since we have denounced the claim that patientchattytitis is a disease. We feel that it needs no cure! Despite, it continues to affect The Wait.
 
Perhaps, we need the More Time patch. It's the newest thing on the market. But it is very expensive and not covered by any Insuranceo Companeo.
 
What are your thoughts? Why does The Wait still infect us?
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